I was so shocked and paralyzed with fear, I could hardly breathe. And then the most horrible part. The vile piece of shit leans in and whispers in my ear in this creepy little voice, “If my girlfriend knew we were doing this, she’d kill me.” That was almost worse than anything, because it made it sound like I was his partner in his sick act. The train finally moved again, and I guess my assailant realized I wasn’t going to do anything, so he just started POUNDING, very hard and fast. By this. She enjoyed the affectionate gestures her son intermittently bestowed upon her on these instances. A caress here, a needless kiss on her cheeks, a hug from behind. She even had him want to do some of her chores himself in exchange for appreciative gestures on her part.“Umm… yes, mom,” mumbled James in response to her question, “I guess you’ve noticed I play this one more often than the others.”Susan was glad. After all, it was one of the videos from her own carefully curated collection. She. I pick up the remote and turn the stereo on low. Garth Brooks croons to me through the speakers. ‘…broncs and the blood, steers and the mud…’ I turn off the stereo, too distressed to listen to Garth singing about the very thing that has taken my heart away from me. I laugh mirthlessly, Mama always told me never to fall in love with a bull rider but I knew better. I close my eyes thinking of him. Tight Wranglers, big buckles, scuffed boots and a Stetson. What more could a girl want? I chuckle. She couldn’t see how it would end well unless they maintained the pretense for the rest of their lives. Was that how life would be? It still did nothing for her own personal life. Three children all at the house… There were no colored men in this town and probably never would be and the idea that there was another James out there waiting for her was laughable. Things weren’t going to change, even with kind men like James. She knew in her heart that not every white person hated colored people,.
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